Being Beautiful On The Inside

The world comes to an end when you hear ‘Sorry ma’am that dress isn’t available in your size’. Being someone who hears that often and it’s not limited to dresses only. Shoes, pants, t-shirts and anything I can think of. I have always needed a ’bigger’ size. ‘Ma’am your feet are too wide”, “Um that is fat protruding out of the clothes, ye to exercise se trim hoga” are few of those many opinions/judgments/criticisms I have to hear about my body from complete strangers.

The Perfect Person Doesn't Exist

             The Perfect Person Doesn’t Exist

I have never reacted to people. I just smile politely and move on. The only thing that itches me is that who has given these people the right to object on me? Stare, point and laugh, speak in hushed tones and comment on my body? I chose what I want to do with my life. Will your XYZ herbal diet I must must try or special ‘magic doctor who made you lose 10 kgs” advices make a difference in my life? I know you’re a concerned citizen who just cannot bear to watch a heavy burden on the world moving like a snowball but could you like just back off? Making me feel uncomfortable to fulfill your weird feel good about yourself desire that “thank god I’m not in that position”, “poor soul”, “don’t her parents don’t do anything about it?” thoughts.

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10 Things I Hate About You

Best friends go a long way!

What is a feeling if not described by beautiful words filled with wrath and dismay. The common man searches for a moment of sanity among all the confused bickering faces of new love bidding in the hearts of girls and men. The sudden change to be a perfectionist model slowly leaving the owner’s head of a thousand possibilities. If “everything” is helpful then why the sudden surge of gargling your mouth filled with the sour and bitter taste of human flesh.

The first thing which comes to your mind after opening those eyelids while breathing in the environment you forgot in your dreams is what will make your world work. Either you can be the claustrophobic manic screaming to get out OR be the subtle relaxed individual who smiles even at a minimum gain situation.

The 2 star situations are not new. Staring at the sky has been there since Lion King and Lion King 2. Imagining the past and future in the most dramatic way to kill the sound of a clock ticking in the most beautiful/horrific manner.

Kovu in Lion King 2

Kovu in Lion King 2

I leave my sentences unfinished to create a bubble which only games of titanic will understand. If the criss-crossness of a simple second in my watch couldn’t stop a jungle king from reaching his “whats it called” destiny then I’m part of that grain of sand or a single drop of water from the skies has made my intense intelligent persona as a safety net. For the glance of red, you first need a bit of navigation to the rest-stop facing you on the never ending road of popularity among the hills and speed-breakers.

So they keep saying, to be or not to be. The ideal space which I would turn the world for is “personal space”. Let’s elaborate on this, shall we?

Kovu goes all serious

Kovu goes all serious

Living a life of 2 into 5 equals 14, I have ample respect for the sudden reactions I receive when I say *shotgun*. The attitude does not matter. The abilities matter to that level that I know you know what you are and do not need constant reassurance. If I look back, each individual in my life has taught me a system. To live, to breath and here is the tricky one, “appreciate”. The ads, the movies, the frickin billboards teach you something meaningless and important at the same time. It depends on how you relate to them. If you’re not spending each “second” with the thirst of making the next “second” better then you’re going in reverse. And let me tell you that’s not a good combo.

A girl slash blossom told me you’re a prisoner of the soul.

My reaction? No comments.

Life does not have a happy ending..?

Story, really?

Story, really?

My story is about a girl and a boy, Hailey and Nimbko. Both of them had a significant relationship with each other for a period of time and then a mutual breakup. Hailey joins the workplace of her ex-boyfriend, Nimbko to start things up again. What she forgot to realize is that he had a huge ego and was ill-mannered since the beginning. Nimbko starts harassing her at work. He makes a group with a leader who is very rude and a kind of a thug. Hailey goes to her dad, explains that she wants the guy to be taught a lesson. Dad says okay. Meanwhile she asks her really cool friend to teach her how to do next level insults. Hailey was sick of being insulted more then enough times as Nimbko acts like she was just a toy to play with. There are a few group face offs where Hailey’s group and Nimbko’s group have a showdown. The leader is very stubborn and gets his way. Meanwhile Hailey then sees her dad’s plan getting in action. Her dad is rich, wise and does whatever his daughter asks her to do. One day Hailey is going to a wedding, the leader stops the car in the middle of the road and starts harassing with a knife. He threatens to kill all of Hailey’s loved ones. He tries to stab her sister. Hailey feels helpless and then finds herself stabbing the group leader. She stabs the leader right in the head. She never realized she had so much anger and hatred in her. She feels shocked. She cries. That’s what her dad’s plan was after all. Her dad wanted her to feel at peace for all her life and not live in any kind of pressure. He saw her getting dull and couldn’t watch her that way. Her dad was her savior after all. She isn’t able to forgive herself for taking a life.

The end.

This exact story came in my dream. When I woke up I found tears in my eyes. The “group leader” in my story I suppose is the famous AH we dislike. Gosh I can’t believe it has come to this.

Show others how strong you are!

Be strong as a lion!

Be strong as a lion

As the moments pass me by I have no option but to get stronger and learn from them. Yeah I have my life where I study and make amends with whatever is happening around me good or bad but the thing is it’s not really what I had imagined it would be. Recently I was going through a lawn magazine which had heavy work all over the lawn dresses. The type you wear in weddings and the models were working them. Just as I was about to get attached and beg my mum to buy me one my mom went like “These are so impractical. How can one wear such dresses which scream social suicide” oh okay I may have exaggerated it a bit but that’s what she meant I’m sure. So what I learned from this little incident was that that whatever perception you make about anything is largely influenced by outside factors. Influenced to a level where your own thought processes are altered. In a completely different world, there are some situations where you want someone to say what you want to hear. Example: when someone says to me you look so thin in black no seriously where are you can’t see you girl. and I blush and reply with awww.

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Studying and experiencing life at the three most prestigious universities

I remember it was Pakistan and India’s match when I gave the admission test of IBA back in 2009. Reviving those memories overwhelms me to that extent that I can still feel the excitement all over again. Since I knew getting admission in IBA is not an easy job more like climbing a mountain of air, giving the test was a last minute decision.

When people asked me how was the admission test, I retorted back with ‘so easy’. I thought I had gone crazy but when I got to know I passed, it was a totally different feeling. Going through the whole procedure of admission, be it group discussions, interviews, all through this I had been flying on seventh heaven with happiness. I remember the people over there were very different, friendly ofcourse but so focused. The seniors were ever so helpful probably because my sister was in her last year there too, making her friends being just amazing to me.

The two months I spent there, I made some great friends. The memories are still vivid in my mind. The courses and over all study was a bit hectic for me, I couldn’t cope up thus I took a break, eventually I dropped out.

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Pieces Of Time part 4

She sipped her tea as she sat opposite Usman Mustafa in the cafe. As he talked about his life in the US, she nodded along realizing how he hadn’t changed at all, only caring about himself. Finally she understood that how her one-sided liking for him will never result in something special. She excused herself to go to the ladies’ room.

As she looked in the mirror, she had a slight smile on her face, the burden on her heart had been lifted. One meeting with Usman had made her recognize the fact that he could never be what she wants, he will never love her.

She said good bye to him, thanked him for the tea and left. She made it clear with her actions and words that they are friends but she needs her space.

She took a cab and looked at her watch. She still had time for office. She explained the address to the cab driver and sat peacefully.

When she entered, she saw a lot of panic.

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Pieces Of Time part 3

“Hi Tanisha! How have you been?”, he said in his husky voice.

“I have been good”, she managed to utter out.

“Can we talk?”

“I have office right now”, she said with a slight frown.

“Being your boss’s son, I already asked her and she said you can have your day off.”, he said shrugging his shoulders.

She nodded her head as they started walking. A hundred thoughts were coming in her head, they were not letting her settle. He had surprised her by suddenly appearing in front of her. Even Fariha hadn’t even mentioned in their conversations that her son was returning back from the US.

“I feel like I owe you an explanation.” He said sounding a little apologetic.

“For what?”, she pretended to be strong although she could feel her heart beat in her neck.

“I know I shouldn’t have left like that without informing.”, he said, carefully choosing his words.

“Yes you left but the good thing is you’re back, I don’t need any explanations. You did what you thought was best”, she said staring directly in his eyes.

“T, you have no idea what that means. I’m just glad. So are we going to Leesay Café now or what?” He said, reminding her their usual hangout place.

“Nah that is not going to happen, actually I do have other things to do and I have a lot of pending work at office”, she said a white lie to save herself from breaking down.

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