Picture a girl who is 15 years of age. She is starting her year for the 10th standard. Excited for the new chapters coming up in her life, she is fond of reading, drawing, playing with paint and colors and most of all, being happy in who she is. Fast forward to the middle of 10th grade, she is fighting for her place in between the truckload of students in her school. Schools, which are famous for producing machines who have the same thought process for each individual just different life stories (let’s leave it at that, as it would start another debate.) She finds and confides her whole being to a handful of friends, showing her weird, crazy and traumatic side and only asks for watching her back. Holding her trust close to their hearts and just being there.
She soon realizes everyone is walking away. Wait, is it because I told them a bunch of stuff which didn’t fit the ‘cool code’? She wonders, she wonders day and night. Hiding in the bathroom, hiding in the library, she wants solace. Unable to seek help, her frustrations are buckled up deep inside. Unable to communicate she is getting agitated, she wants out. Three years go by, she has given up. Her former friends bully her, they look at her with ridicule. What a loner, they say. She needs to get a life, she doesn’t say much, why is her hair that way, she doesn’t smile. This is the best one, go away from here, you freak! This girl right now might as well be dead.
She has passed away from this. She has grown up. She doesn’t believe in these petty issues anymore. She couldn’t care less at what was thought, said or spread around about her BUT she wants to say something. Oh yes, she wants to tell the mean girls in her high school who they are and how much damage they did to her. She took a long time to recover. She’s here and she wants to speak.
“To the girls who thought I wasn’t good enough, you should be aware that each time you insulted me, a piece of me broke. The pieces, even though I will never get back, I’m willing to make new ones. I just wanted to let you know I have moved on and just know that each time you feel insecure about yourself, you absolutely have no right to point out things in others. I may be short and petite or even giant size, your idea of bringing me down for your entertainment is inhumane. I hope one day you find peace within yourself. I hope when one day when your son comes crying to you about a problem at school (and I hope he does, because I never did and I see the damage I did to my family), you are able to fix it and understand what it would have been like if it was the other way around.
For a long time, I felt the need to be something I’m not. Someone who fits the bill, someone who is exactly like you. Please understand that if a person doesn’t fit your idea of beauty, that person is still beautiful, that person still has the right to live how they want. Enjoying my misery will never make you happier.
I notice flowers now, rainbows, bright colors, the sunsets, love, happiness and positivity. God has always been kind, I just forgot to look. It took me a long time to get what I want, to set my goals and finding the right path to tread on. Right now I’m at a wonderful place. I wish you are too.”